sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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