I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
