You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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