I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
