Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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