Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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