Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
