i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
