this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
