I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize