No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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