Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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