i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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