He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
