This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
