Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
