I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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