I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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