do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
