Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
