btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize
