We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize