i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
