New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
