I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
