I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
