Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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