you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
