Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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