Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize