tell your sister to shave her snatch
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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