i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You may now shotgun with the bride
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize