if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just tell him i said nine months
He kissed a someone with a penis
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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