Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
