if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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