I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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