3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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