is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
