I can't watch pbs sober anymore
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize