i was born a porn star she said
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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