i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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