he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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