So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
high people should be assigned attendants
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
