how can u be prego again
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
