Non-Jews are for practice
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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