Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
