why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
