hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
