I heard we made out
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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