The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
