so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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