why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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