Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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