During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
