im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
