and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
