Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
