We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize