girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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