I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize