i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
