Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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