Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
