Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
