Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize