I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
