ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
